My learning:

I learned this lesson many years ago.  I refuse to wait for tomorrow, like I once did.  I'm too old for it.  I know only too well, that tomorrow is not guaranteed to us.  According to my estimated ACE score, I've outlived my life expectancy already.  I even had a medical doctor point it out to me.(... like she needed to do that).

After my car accident, I gained 80 lbs.  (one of many side effects of the medication that caused the accident).  I was told- oh don't worry, you'll lose it again.  That was the most asinine thing anyone could have said.  If they knew me better, they'd know the difficulty I had getting to the weight I was before the accident.  

I have no patience with everyday little things that are of minimal usefulness and yet time consuming.  I don't believe in waste.  I make the most of everything.

Right now I'm looking for work.  That is one of the reasons I haven't been posting on my blog regularly.  I spend every minute that I get in the library filling out online job applications.  I'm living out of my car to save money for winter and for some of the things I believe I really need.  I purchased a computer the other night, while they were onsale for Memorial day.  It's just a laptop, but with it, I'll be able to connect my large screen, keyboard and mouse once I get housing.  And meanwhile, I can write, pretty much any time and anywhere. I do want to work on my biography.

But despite my commitment to finding work, I insisted on working towards something I see as extremely important that just can't wait.  That is talking about the issues of housing as it relates to PTSD and C-PTSD.  

I've had several people say- oh that sounds good.  But do it after you have work and housing.  They just don't get it.  It is a subject that I just feel cannot wait.  I'm putting flyers everywhere and posting online- looking for military vet who has struggled with housing because of PTSD.  And who is able to talk about it, so we can go on Mountain Stream TV and talk.

And I've been warned to not talk too much about my struggles with C-PTSD and homelessness, etc.  I need to be professional.  Well, I'm sorry, but that is me being professional.  My Authentic Self- is just who I'm being.  I know I've had problems with boundaries and co-dependency issues, but this it not a boundary issue.  I know very well what I'm doing by talking about something.

When I have access to Internet and I'm stuck with only my phone, I listen to YouTube videos.  I loved Pia Melody's books.  But her videos don't feel the same.  And when she mentioned Brene' Brown, I went and listened to Brene' and found her so much more uplifting.  Listening to her I felt like I really do have the recovery needed to do something with my life before it ends.

I am my authentic self, to the best of my ability.
I update my gratitude list often!
I put myself out there- I risk being vulnerable!
And the only opinion that really matters is my own.