Andy (The Book)

Chapter 4

Andy's mild heart attacks continued to get worse. Eventually a good day was any day he had less then ten. His cardiologist called every home health agency in the area and none would take Medicare for a patient 23 miles from town. Andy called his cardiologist almost every day to let him know how many he'd had and how bad they'd been. It was not unusual for Andy to have trouble breathing when he had one and not be able to speak. He almost never played his video games anymore because his hands shook too much.

Then Andy had another near death experience. It was the middle of October, 1999. I thought Jon and Samantha were preparing him. They came to him several times that day and told him his time was coming soon. He was a nervous wreck over it until it happened. He'd averaged 20 mild heart attacks/day for a couple of days when they took him this time. He told me they were there for him. He asked me to kiss him good-bye and he still could move his right arm so he was stroking my hair. Suddenly his hand dropped and he stopped breathing. It was several minutes before he came back, I thought he was gone for sure this time. He said it was like before, the man at the gate told him it wasn't his time. So Jon and Samantha brought him back. What was also interesting was that Andy, who had never met my grandmother, described her perfectly. He said she was there and told him she'd see us both when the time was right. He didn't know who she was, but he said she was the lady in a picture I had on the wall. It was a small picture of her, in a collage of pictures, yet he picked her out as the lady who spoke to him.

Andy's children alters began refusing to let him eat again. They'd done this a lot the past year. At first I didn't know what was going on. I just knew he kept wanting to eat out and I was throwing food away. Eventually he admitted that the children thought I was trying to poison him. When this would happen, they'd talk to Jim, their therapist, or Grenudo, and eventually work through it. When they started eating again, I'd have to eat with them, so they could see the food was okay. Sometimes they were willing to eat food that was canned and they'd buy it themselves. When Andy played football in high school he weighed 210 pounds, not too much for someone his height. He now weighed barely 140 pounds.

Andy went to see his therapist, Jim. It turned out that Evil Brown's real name is Johnny. He, as well as some other children alters, suffered when Andy was poisoned as a child.

During the time that I've been working on this, I've tried encouraging all the alters, at least the adults, to add their story to it. Usually they'd say that they're not ready, "later" they'd add. Then I said I wanted to send a copy to the lawyer that Andy’s doctors had talked to and suddenly it made sense. The lawyer needed to hear their story, but reliving the abuse that brought them into Andy's life was too hard. I told them, "talk about today, and how you contribute to his life now". They loved the idea. The following three alters were the most anxious to contribute and did so in one night.

  

Sam's Story

This is my part of the biography on how I help Andy forget what happened in the past years. I have a big part in his life due to the severe abuse I went through as a child but I have almost forgotten all about because I've been in therapy now for about four years. But right now I don't want to talk about the past I want to talk about what I do right now which involves many duties, including, fighting other alters that try to hurt my master or his significant other. The story I'm about to tell you is true and may freak you out but remember it was self defense not a crime like other people would consider it to be. My job right now is security guard and that's just what I did when Evil Brown entered our lives the other day. The trouble started on the drive home from Las Vegas which was scary all the way home due to Evil Brown's attitude and temper. He could not be controlled by just one person and we all found out the hard way. When we were on the interstate, "Master" was feeling very angry and hateful towards everyone and his driving was very unstable which included speeding and swerving. At that moment I was very terrified of what was going on but realized that most of the other alters were either hiding or already captured by this demon that entered our lives without any notice. Usually "Master’s” driving ain't like that so I knew something was going wrong and tried to alert the other's but got no response and that got real scary. We got home safe, luckily, but now was just the beginning of what I believe was hell it's self. "Master" was complaining that he was sick and needed to go lay down upstairs for a little while, which didn't last very long in my opinion. Now at this point in time, I got captured and tried to alert the others. But I found out, I was going to the protective custody where the other alters were being held prisoner. When I got there the alters were scared and yelling for help. No one could hear their calls but "Master", and not even "Master", himself, could help us get out, due to the size and weight of this angry alter. How could we all be captured at once and not know he was coming until it was too late and we couldn't defend ourselves. Now we knew there was trouble brewing in the house between "Master" and Connie. We felt very guilty that we couldn't be in there trying to calm him down due to our captivity. From protective custody we could hear the yelling, screaming, and stuff breaking in the house. At that point I knew something needed to be done one way or another. Finally, I had remembered there was a ladder under the bed where we were. I had some of the alters help me position it to the vent above where we were, and that was the hard part. Now, I finally managed to get out through the vent with three other alters, Grenudo, Limpio, and Wisdom. These guys are very helpful, too, in this kind of situation. Once we got out we didn't know what to do next so we talked about it and planned to do something safe to where Evil Brown wouldn't see or hear us. Finally, I gained entrance inside the house and told him to leave "Master" alone or I would call the others. He just laughed and told me to go to hell. That is when the others came to my aid. I could not be told to shut up so I said either hurt "Master" or give up but he continued laughing until I kicked the knife out of his hand. It ended in a battle in which we won. He punched me, and that pissed me off to where I was able to knock him on the floor. The other alters got on top of him, and now the terror was finally over for us.

Sambo's Story

I have a very important role in Andy's life and many duties that can show for it. My main duty is to be sure he is safe and not hurting anymore like he did as a child. As an adolescent Andy and I were going through a tough time dealing with Drugs, Alcohol, and school. When in school, kids would laugh at him because he wasn't normal to them at all. That changed when he joined the football team to be the greatest quarterback Oakdale had in a very long time. While playing football, the team took one state championship and went undefeated because he knew what the team needed to win a game and have confidence in themselves. I helped Andy realize he needed to play the game to get his mind off the trouble he was getting into every single day and night. Fighting with other teenagers was a big issue because they teased him a lot of the time when we lived in Oakdale. That all changed, because he transferred to a different high school after the school year was over. We decided to play football there so he wouldn't get teased so much. Andy played football for the Yellowjackets as quarterback and took them to a state championship also. That year during the championship game his knee was injured very badly. That ended his career as a player. Someday we hope he can be a football coach. After that he started to get in very bad trouble because he felt very discouraged about the injury that ended his career. Now is when I tried to help him understand that trouble wasn't the way to go, but, he didn't listen to me. Andy started using drugs and alcohol which made matters even worse. He got picked up by police, everyday, doing things he knew were wrong. I tried to talk to him, but he refused to listen to me at all. The drug and alcohol problem had gotten worse. Now I was worried what would happen to him if he continued doing the things he was doing. Finally, I was able to convince Andy to stop what he was doing or I myself would turn him into the police. He stopped the drugs and alcohol but kept getting into trouble. No matter what I would say or do he would not listen. Finally, he went too far when he started threatening people’s lives. That's when his mom asked for help but things were already out of control. The day when the sheriff went to pick him up, he refused until I put my two cents in. That is when he realized I was trying to help him, not hurt him. When we got to Las Vegas he realized that it wasn't that bad and he could start his life all over again in a bigger town. We later learned, from Andy, it was not himself but another alter named "NO-NAME" that had done all the bad things that shouldn't of been done.

Currently I'm the principal of the school where the children alters attend. I'm also involved in a relationship that is nice and with someone who cares. Her name is Dolores. 

Rhonda's Story

I want to add a little life to the biography, letting you know stuff I've learned about Andy in the past two years. I came into his life for one reason, that is to help him realize what happened then, won't happen again. I was never abused as a child, I came to make sure him and Connie had a happy and normal life, and to help Andy make the right decisions and not the wrong ones he did as a kid. Right now I consider myself an alter because I've helped him in many ways you couldn't imagine. I came when he started to go into therapy at Pinion Hospital in Santa Fe. At that time, he was in very bad shape because he was going through a separation with Connie and he was dealing with messed up doctors from Las Vegas who considered him as Schizophrenic. My job then was to make sure he realized Connie still loved him and wanted him to get treatment. She knew there was hope in their relationship and that he could get help before it was too late. Right now, Christmas and Thanksgiving are the two holidays he has a hard time dealing with. I want to make sure he is all right and help him get through it, without remembering any of the past. There are a lot of alters who can't accept what happened to them. I can be there for them if they need someone to listen to them or just be a sister or a friend that they didn't have back then. My position right now is judge for the alters. At first I had a hard time with it, but, now I'm adjusting to my position and intend to continue helping whenever I'm needed. No matter what happens I'll be there to give my support to anyone who needs it. I have a lot of friends within the alters and I hope we all can help Andy and not drive him crazy. I also want to mention my sisters Dolores and Clara are with me and are a big part of my life, as well as, my husband Marvin who is the interpreter for the children alters. I love you guys.

(Rhonda is a guide, not an alter, because she didn't experience abuse for him as a child.)

When Andy and Larry started playing pool at the Ringside (sports pub) in Las Vegas, Andy was playing so good, that he got asked to join one of the teams from the APA league. He checked with Larry, who agreed it would be something good for him to do, and he joined. He gained a new set of friends. And he started spending a lot of time with Joe, a team member, who like Andy, doesn't work because of his poor health.

One night, Andy and his friend Joe were drugged, because they beat the wrong man, in the wrong bar, at pool. They both could have died.

Occasionally, Sam, the substance abuse monitor, allows Andy to have a beer or two over a long evening with his friends. He says his cardiologist told him it was okay because a little alcohol helps ease the chest and muscle pains. He's very careful. That night he'd had one beer around 7PM and another around 10:30 PM. Andy was the first one to feel the effects of what was slipped into his beer. Joe helped him into a booth, where he had several "milds" in a row. As soon as he was able, he and Joe headed to the hospital emergency room.

There's one particular ER doctor who always refuses to see anyone who is a client of mental health. It doesn't matter what is wrong with them, she tells them they have to go to the state hospital for mentally ill. She knows Andy and has always refused to see him. He, his therapist and his medical doctors have entered complaints about her several times to no avail. Again, she refused to see him. She also refused his friend, Joe, assuming he was a mental health client, too. She told them she would not see "drunken mental patients". At 1:30 AM she could still smell the one beer he'd had hours earlier.

Michelle, a nurse who is quite familiar with Andy, gave him a vistaril shot. He had a standing order for it, from his cardiologist. But she could not do an EKG without the ER doctor's orders.

Meanwhile, I was home and I was frantic. I'd called the police and the ER and no one could tell me anything. It was almost 3AM when I called the ER. The nurse who answered told me Andy had never been there. Andy later told me, that nurse was with the ER doctor and lying. Michelle could verify. I know Andy, I know Michelle, and I know that ER doctor. I know who to believe.

Andy made it home about 3:30 in the morning. He'd had to stop several times along the way because of the chest pains. He looked worse then I'd ever seen him. He told me what had happened. He recognized the effect of cocaine as he'd been addicted to it as a teenager. He was sick the rest of the night and I stayed up with him. Again, we both thought he would not survive. He told me, his greatest fear was that he'd survive but become addicted again.

Late the next morning, he insisted on going to town. He wouldn't let me go with him, it was something he had to do himself. He found his therapist, Jim, and he found Larry.

He and his therapist filed complaints to hospital administration, again, against the ER doctor. Andy got a dose of charcoal, about 12 hours after he really needed it. (Charcoal is given in the ER to help flush out the system after an overdose.) He said tests showed he'd had enough cocaine to kill him.

Then Larry helped him file charges against the man who had slipped the cocaine into his beer. The man had done it before to others, and it was time to stop him. Joe eventually filed a complaint also. We found out that Joe had ended up going to a hospital in Santa Fe. Joe has a congenital heart defect and also had a heart attack. He too was told he could have died.

As a result of that night, I ended up missing another class in the work program and having to drop out. I'd been counting on being able to work to make up for the money my mother would no longer be able to send us. Again, I became terrified that we'd be homeless. The least that could happen, we'd not be able to afford propane to heat the house, and I'd have to do without much needed medical care. Twice last winter, when the rent was $50 less and my mother was helping us, we ran out of propane. The cold makes the pain from my fibromyalgia worse. It's also much worse when I can't see my massage therapist. I count on herbs, homeopathics and expensive supplements, to control various symptoms related to the fibromyalgia syndrome. And I count on expensive blood pressure medications to even just stay alive.

As soon as Andy was better, I went to use the computer at DVR (Department of Vocational Rehabilitation). I wrote a letter to my worker at DVR, explaining my plans to continue working on my writing and begging them not to give up on me. I gave her a computer disk with copies of the two completed fiction novels I'd written, as well as Andy's biography, which was still being written. They still couldn't get me reading glasses, a printer or an upgraded word program for my computer. But they would, at least, continue to let me use the client computer in their office.

I was no longer in the work program. For financial reasons, I'd cut back on visits to my massage therapist and was in more pain then ever. Andy started finding reasons to go to town every day. He even managed to get over his fear of the gangsters patrolling Walmart parking lot, so that he could pick up things I needed. At first I didn't mind at all, it was kind of nice to leave the shopping to him. But eventually, I saw the pattern emerge as it had several times in the past.

The car needed brakes. Andy convinced our mechanic to hire him, to help pay for it. It sounded great. The mechanic knew about Andy's health problems and gave him only things he could handle, cleaning up, answering phones, handing him tools. Andy was learning about cars. Even if he never made much money, it would be very educational.

Andy would go to Larry's or Joe's after work. He'd agreed not to go to any of the more seedy bars to play pool, and never turn his back on his drink. But, one of the guys in his league had a pool table at his house. And he played video games with Larry and they went to high school football games.

And I stayed home- cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, feeding the pets, staring at the TV and thinking about the pain from my fibromyalgia and how we were going to pay for propane. It would help my muscle pain if I could just go for walks, but the wind blasted me with dirt and pollen and I didn't have the right shoes. When I asked to go with Andy or use the car, I got excuses. He didn't have time to wait for me to get ready, he'd go to the store for me, "You know your blood pressure pill makes you sleepy, stay home and rest!"

I was afraid to confront Andy about his controlling behavior. In the past, we'd had terrible fights about it. But something had to give. Maybe by now, he'd be able to deal with it. In a fit of frustration, I said it, "... and when you see Jim (therapist), talk about this need you have to keep your wife prisoner!"

Hell broke loose, and it was Andy, not an alter. I cowered in the corner. Andy called Jim, then told me that Jim said it wasn't true. He said I could have left anytime. I cried, "Sure I could, in the middle of the night when you were asleep and the car was here. If I did, you'd be angry and I would I never be able to come back. I'd have to leave most of my belongings. I'd be worrying about you being alone with your chest pains. And I'd have no place to go, this is my home. I pay the rent, too!"

He called Larry, and arranged for Larry to pick him up as soon as Larry got off work. He accused me of taking his money and said I was on my own now, and I'd never see any of the money from the lawsuit. He called Santa Fe and found out that Pinion Hospital had closed, but there was a new psychiatric unit at *Victory Hospital. They took D.I.D.'s and he could admit himself. Larry would take him. That was what he had to do, since what I'd said was so cruel as to make him suicidal.

I couldn't argue anymore and I couldn't deal with it again. As soon as I could, I took 2mg. of ativan. I buried myself under the covers on my bed, my back to the wall, and left him to deal with it. I don't even remember how it all unfolded.

I believe it was the next day, he found Jim and talked about it. He realized he had been keeping me home because he was afraid I'd leave him for someone else. He apologized and said he appreciated me. He promised it would never happen again, and begged me to forgive him. He also realized that a lot of it had to do with the children alter's fear of another upcoming Christmas. And we talked about ways of dealing with this.

I saw my massage therapist, my MD and went to Walmart by myself once in the two weeks that followed. Other then that, I'd been home- cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, feeding the pets, staring at the TV, thinking about the pain and worrying about money. I forgave him, but I found it hard to believe it would never happen again.

It did get better. He still went to town almost every night, but remembered to ask me if I minded, if I needed the car, and if I needed Tiger Balm on my back to relieve the pain. I couldn't go with him because his friends all smoked, and people smoked in the bar where they played pool, and I have asthma. The problem now was with me. If I had friends, I could visit them while he played pool or visited his friends. But I have no friends. I don't know how to socialize. Never have, either.

Towards the end of the summer, 1999, Jim started turning Andy's case over to Dr. Lewis in Santa Fe. Andy had made as much progress as he could with Jim, who was inexperienced at working with D.I.D. Dr. Lewis was willing to accept what little Medicare pays and it would cost us nothing. Andy's children alters weren't sure at first. But she took the time to let them get to know her and they came to trust her. Andy met with Dr. Lewis to talk with the children alters about the holidays. Thanksgiving went all right. At the last minute, I found turkeys on sale and even bought two. I cooked one and put the other in the freezer. Not exactly the Thanksgivings from my childhood, but at least there were no problems from Andy as there were in the past.

Andy's children alters still were not ready to decorate for Christmas, but this year they said they'd like for me to decorate. I appreciated that, because decorating for Christmas helps keep me from getting depressed. My childhood Christmas's were the happiest times in my life and I missed them tremendously.

One night, when Andy came home from playing pool, he had a Christmas tree in the trunk of the car. He thought I'd appreciate it. As much as I appreciated the thought and really wanted a tree, there was no way it was going to fit into the house. I told him, the small room at the top of the stairs would make an excellent winter wonderland. If he'd help me organize, maybe I could trim the tree enough that we could get it up the stairs. They took a day to discuss it, and the children agreed. I could go into their room to help Andy organize and I could decorate the small room. They were eager to set up their train and agreed it would be nice around the tree.

We tried. The small room was mostly just boxes, some for things we used and many packed from when I thought we were going to move a few months before. The biggest room in the house, almost the entire top floor, was the private space of Andy and the children alters. It was a mess, as usual. They’d get very upset when I tried to help clean up and feel that I was being too controlling. They’d also get distrustful and fear that I was going through their private belongings. They did better then they had in the past when I tried to help, but it didn't work. Andy got chest pains and couldn't help. The children couldn't wait until I made room for the train in the smaller room where the tree was to go. They insisted on setting it up in the middle of the mess in their room, making it impossible for me to move about to organize. And I was snapped at constantly. I gave up. I gave them another day to calm down and suggested we give the tree away. Even if I did manage to survive his irritability and organize around his mess, there was little likelihood I'd be able to get the tree up the spiral staircase without assistance. I could tell that Andy's chest pains were getting worse again, and he'd never be able to help me.

I gave the tree to *David, my massage therapist. He's a single dad raising two little girls. He gave me a credit towards my massages for it. I also gave him the last antique from my grandmother, my favorite mirror, in exchange for massages. It was the only thing of value that I thought he could use. He said he'd see me, even if I had no money, and I could pay him later, whenever I had it. He knew how much I needed the massages to deal with the pain of the fibromyalgia. But I couldn't see him without giving him anything. The likelihood that I'd be able to pay him later was slim at best.

I put up all my old decorations downstairs. I hung lights, garland and ornaments from the beams in the ceiling. I had a beautiful wreath that I'd rescued from a dumpster and decorated. It was made from the same thing as an artificial tree. It had white lights and my most precious ornaments on it. I put two strings of blue lights on the only real tree in our yard. It was a challenge. I got them up there by weighing one end and throwing it as far as I could. I knew I’d probably never get them down again. And I strung two strings of multi-colored lights across the beams that stick out from the front of the building. I did it all while he was in town, playing pool with his friends. He said the children alters really liked it.

I'd spent enough time feeling helpless and frightened of the future. In the past, I'd been able to get involved in community activities more. I could do anything that was of an academic nature. But there wasn't much in town that interested me. I did notice one thing in the local paper, and made a point of going. I went to a meeting of Amnesty International and wrote letters to political prisoners. It was a start, even though I still didn't do any socializing. At least it was a worthwhile thing to do. Then I went to DVR and updated my resume, again. And I started checking the newspapers at least twice/week for a job. I also sent to Santa Fe for an application form so I could try and get my state license to do counseling. Most professional positions advertised had been full time. But I sent them resumes, anyway, and explained why I wanted only part time. The domestic violence program was expecting to hire in January, and the person I talked with said they'd likely be willing to hire part time. It was the same organization we'd received help from years ago. I became a little hopeful, finally.

Meanwhile, Andy started going back to the Cafe. At first, he just went in for coffee in the morning. It didn't take long for him to start working again. The new owner liked Andy's work and his company, even if there wasn't enough customers for him to work for pay. When he was able to expand his hours, he put Andy on the schedule to work Fri. and Sat. night. If nothing else, we got meals. And Andy started putting in some long hours at the Cafe and less time with his pool buddies.

I spent about $20 at Walmart for things Andy'd buy next summer for fishing, anyway. They'd make good Christmas presents for teenage male alters. Then one day we went to Santa Fe, a trip we've been managing to make about once month. We always go to the Mall, where Andy exchanges video games and we eat all we can of the incredibly cheap but still good pizza at our favorite fast-food pizza chain. Then, I shop for organic produce and supplements. That day, Andy's children alters wanted to check and see what video games were on sale at the other stores, too. While they were otherwise occupied, I managed to buy 3 large bags of toys for only $36. Mostly they were packages of cheap party favors. I bought a package of 8 brightly colored whistles with stretch bands that could be worn on a wrist. I thought they would help make an alter feel safe, if they had a whistle to blow if anyone ever were to attack them again. And of course, there were lots of things to play with, for around the train. I got them farm animals, zoo animals, matchbox cars, small brightly colored balls, and I found two educational fun things for the computer that were marked down from around $30 to about $5.

Andy became irritable again as Christmas came closer. I tried to recognize that his children alters were still afraid of Christmas, and that it wasn't me. But I just couldn't.

I'd been through some major changes in my medications that summer, and found that my new blood pressure medication, clonidine, had stabilized my mood. Since then I'd had no indications of any real mood swings, just the expected situational depression, until now. I became depressed. I couldn't stop crying and laid awake at night.

Andy became angrier, at first, accusing me of making his Christmas bad this year. I quit wrapping presents for the children, and even took down some of the decorations one day when he was at the Sad Cafe. He threatened to admit himself to the psych unit in Santa Fe, where Dr. Lewis worked, and he said he'd never come back. But somehow, at the last minute, he managed to stop accusing me and became supportive. He encouraged me to pull myself together and I did. It wasn't easy. In the past when I'd felt this low, it would take months and anti-depressants to overcome it. And often the anti-depressants would result in my becoming manic. It was Christmas Eve and too late for me to find anyone at mental health to talk to before the holiday. I had to do it myself. I forced myself to do the things I'd do, if I wasn't depressed. Andy worked at the Cafe all day Christmas Eve, and I wrapped presents and replaced decorations. By the time he was home that evening, I had presents for the adults around the little, 6", tree on the microwave stand, under the wreath. The presents for the children alters were hidden. We would open the adult alter’s presents that evening.

The first present opened was the disposable camera, I wrapped with Annie's name on it. She, of course, handed it to me so that Sam could find the present with his name on it. I took pictures as the adults opened their presents. I'd wrapped socks, individually, so all the adult males had something with their name on it. Wisdom and some older adult males got chocolate covered cherries, a tradition I'd kept from my childhood when my dad got them from Santa. I bought baking sheets for Gregory, the black chef, and some of the adult female alters who cooked. And I bought scented candles (in case of Y2K power outages) for other adult female alters. And we opened the presents my mother and sister had sent. Andy's mom gave us her presents when she took us shopping on her last visit to town.

Andy of course, said the adult alters wanted to help Santa put out the children's presents, but I knew better. He might think the children aren't here, but they know what he's doing. Last year, he helped me put out the children's presents and at midnight, exactly, the children integrated. They announced it was Christmas now and they wanted to open presents. This year I said no, the children needed to stay asleep until morning.

Limpio had promised he'd spend the night downstairs with me. We can't make love, when the children alters are around, and they'd made Andy sleep upstairs every night for weeks. Andy, with Limpio and other adult males, spent some time downstairs with me. Then towards morning they retired upstairs to check on the children and I put out the children's presents.

I woke before they did, and I had a horrible craving for cinnamon rolls. My mother had always made refrigerator cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning for breakfast. We'd eat them while opening presents. I'm diabetic, and I don't buy things like that, but the craving was strong. I took out a package of whole wheat dinner rolls I'd bought and put on some canola oil to heat. I cut holes out of the center and fried them, then tossed them in lots of cinnamon and just a little fructose. They were ready when Andy and the children alters came down. It was so much fun. Watching the children integrate and open presents is much like any Christmas with children in the household.

We then went to Oakdale, and spent a lovely afternoon and evening with Andy's mom. We headed home about 9 O'clock, and discovered that the few flakes of snow we'd seen in Oakdale and that morning at home, had accumulated to coat Las Vegas beautifully.

We detoured up towards Montezuma, where we used to live. On the

edge of majestic mountains, it's higher terrain and gets more snow. There's a hot springs up there, which I'd always loved to visit. Andy likes the hot springs, too, but he doesn't like to stop when people are there. And there's, pretty much, always people there. But this beautiful evening turned out to be the exception. The only ones there were a guy that Andy knew and his girlfriend. So we stayed for a little while. Andy had a cold and was afraid of catching a chill, he does have a history of pneumonia. But I was willing to take a chance on getting the sniffles and stripping to my underclothes, took a dip in the hottest pool. The lights from the Armand Hammer World College, across the stream, danced softly on the clean white snow. The sky twinkled with a million stars and it was mystically silent. Unlike the highland desert, where we now live, Montezuma has tall, dark, evergreens that smell sweet and now were decorated in silvery white. A more perfect Christmas night, couldn't be imagined.

When we got home, the children all thanked me for their Christmas and confessed that they know that I'm Santa Claus. Then they let Limpio integrate and stay the night with me.